Theme songs

Music is magical. Throughout my life, I've felt connected to life far more with music involved. For as long as I can remember, my mother and Nanna's homes were filled with music, their radio always on. Last year, I started making music a more active part of my life.

Ali Edwards has a yearly inspirational activity called 'One Little Word'. She, as well as any else who wants to give it a try, chooses a word to live for a year. This year her word is 'light'. There's no set way to pick a word: ask and the Universe will give a hint, fall madly for some wonderful quirky word that is just so you. Open a dictionary randomly and keep doing it until you find a non-medical word ('rectum' as your year's word will only be funny for so long, perhaps?) Sadly, this doesn't work for me in the slightest, no matter how much I love the concept. I tried it one year and found that, as much as I love words, it was impossible for me to stick with one for an entire year. I couldn't even last an entire month with one word.

What I've found works well for me is to have a theme song for the year.

Last year and this year I've stumbled upon songs that seem to sum up how I feel, while providing a much needed kick in the butt to keep moving forward. Last years song, Not Perfect, came from the gorgeously amazing Australian comedian, Tim Minchin. If you've never seen his work, he's amazing- but if you have issue with people who disagree with religion, and with alternative healing, then you might want to give him a miss. He's not a fan of either. I tend to be a fan of exploring the things I care deeply about- if I don't question it, then it's not something I'm overly passionate about, so it doesn't bother me in the slightest that he has issue with spirituality.

The version of 'Not Perfect' you can find here, from The Sideshow, tends to be the one I love most. Mostly because this was the first time I'd ever heard it, and it was a sucker punch of a song. I'd been having a bad few weeks, so to have this song just suddenly appear in my life was a bit of a shocker. And it broke my heart, because it's right. How little attention do I give myself? How many times have I needed something- space, time, peace and quiet- only to ignore my needs to help family and friends in crisis? How many horrible things do I say about myself, even in jest? Too many, especially when I realise I believe them all. And the lyric 'it's tucked away behind my eyes, where all my screwed up thoughts can hide, 'cause God forbid I hurt somebody'? I cried. I don't cry. It was like having someone I admire pointing out just how much I keep hidden, just how many times I let people treat me badly in the name of 'keeping the peace'. How many times had I been dishonest that week and said I was ok, because my family never copes well when I'm struggling? How often do I ignore my resentments, fears, issues, because to be upfront and honest about why I feel the way I do means acknowledging the involvement of family and friends, and that's never going to end well? Even a year on, I struggle with those issues, but having a song to listen to when things go badly gave me a much needed push to work on them harder.

This year's song is one I'm copping a bit of flack over from one of my friends. My Chemical Romance gets seen as Emo a lot, which means that publicly acknowledging I like them means copping it from those in my circle of friends who are heavily anti-emo. Personally, I love MCR. I love the theatricality, I love the anger- and I especially love that their music is a lot of times about getting back up whenever you're knocked down and keeping on trying.

Sing, which is I think the second song released from the Danger Days album, tends to show up on the radio whenever I'm having a bad day. It's one of those songs that I love to crank up and sing along to, and it's like looking and penguins on bad days- you can't be sad listening to Gerard Way singing 'I am not the singer that you wanted but a dancer'. It's physically impossible not to at least smile at that.

It's another song all about stepping up and doing something, about using your voice even if you don't want to, and I think this is another year I need to work on that.

Sometimes, the universe shows you a direction you need to take in the most fun and amusing ways.

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